The book was a lot of fun to read.I love old movies especially musicals.One of my favorites is " White Christmas," starring Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye, and Vera- Ellen, so when I came across this book about Rosemary Clooney I was very interested in what kind of life one of my favorite old ( I hope she wouldn't mind me referring to her like that), singer-movie actresses has had. Rosemary Clooney came from a very small town called Maysville, Kentucky along the Ohio River. Her mom was very strange. She married a man her mother didn't like, handsome and suave, but an alcoholic. Her mother loved him but she felt very held down by the small town they lived in. So she left her husband and three small children- Rosemary, her sister Betty,and their brother Nicky. The children were shifted around between the relatives- grandparents, uncles, and aunts- who ever could afford to keep them. Rosemary learned very early how to be the perfect child so that which ever relative had them they would like them so all the children could stay together. I thought that was so sad. Mom was in and out but sent home money, Dad wasn't around much but when he was he loved to listen to music and Rosemary would sit on his lap and listen with him. Rosemary was lucky she had a very close knit family although she was closest with both sets of grandparents. Since her Dad wasn't around much she actually called her Dad's father Papa, and she never had much of a relationship with her mother which is something that always bothered her. It was also something that Rosemary was never able to fix or find out why her Mother had left them in the first place. Yet, Ms. Clooney still describes her childhood as a very sweet time in a small town with lots of close relatives and friends,with an extremely close bond between her brother and sister that lasts always. But, she was especially close to her sister Betty who was closest to her in age.
Rosemary started singing at age three. She loved singing with her sister Betty because they could do such great harmonies together. Towards the end of High School, for Rosemary anyway, the Clooney girls started singing open auditions on the local radio station and from there they were picked up by the Tony Pastor's Orchestra. Since both sisters were under aged, they convinced their Uncle George to be their guardian and manager and they were off touring the U.S. as professional Big Band singers. Soon Rosemary realized that as much as she loved her sister and Uncle George it was time for her to go out on her own. It hurt her very much to tell them but it was the best career move for her. Betty lied and said she was tired of being on the road any way, but Uncle George who had given up everything to take the girls on the road was so hurt and they didn't speak for years. Years later Rosemary and George were able to have a good relationship but they were never able to discuss what happened.
Rosemary's career took off and her pay check was getting bigger, but I thought it was interesting that as a solo artist she had to pay the musicians out of her own check. More and more success. The people she met who became friends was an incredible list of who's who in the entertainment world, like Frank Sinatra- who she didn't like very much. Can you imagine being called by Bing Crosby to come over to his house for a beer and football game! Along the way Rosemary meets a dancer she really loves named Dante DiPaolo. He calls her " Roselinda." Rosemary's whole family loves him, but then she meets Jose Ferrer(actor) who sweeps her off her feet. She was blown away by his worldliness, charm and finesse- and your like-"Noooooooo!"-don't marry him. Marry Dante. Don't do it! Well- she does it. When Rosemary calls her family to tell them she got married they all said," Wheres Dante?" Everyone was shocked. I thought it was very interesting -Rosemary married a suave, charming guy that her family didn't like just like her Mom had. Interesting isn't that?
Anyway, Jose, or Joe as she calls him,have an up/down marriage. He cheats on her all the time. On their honeymoon Rosemary overhears Joe and a male friend talking about an affair he had with some woman on the set of the movie he was currently doing. When she tearfully confronted him,he just sat on the end of their bed and listened but said nothing. Poor Rosemary had no recourse, she realized she had to accept this about him. She should have dumped him right there but she didn't. You should of married Dante! Anyway, Jose and Rosemary have 5 children and each time Rosemary hopes that each child will bring him closer to her. Rosemary says Jose was a good father but, eventually she couldn't take all the cheating so she threw him out and divorced him. Then everyone was unhappy (and there was less money)-she took him back only to divorce him again. Then poor Rosemary got into drugs, pills to help her sleep, her career tanked and her kids where afraid of her.Sometime before Rosemary's mom had come to live with the family, she had no place to go, and never left again;yet, that was a good thing for it was Rosemary's mom who took care of the kids while she was drugged and closed in her room. Something Rosemary didn't miss though, and resented, was that her mom took better care of Rosemary's kids than she had of her own. Rosemary Clooney had said at the beginning of her career that she knew she would always be to make money singing because she has such a great voice (never formal training by the way). Yet, when souped up on drugs she cursed out an entire audience and stomped off the stage. Not a good career move.
For a brief time she fell in love with Nelson Riddle, a fantastic music arranger and, they had a red hot affair. He was married but said he was going to leave his wife. Nelson's secretary would arrange rendezvouses for them at fancy hotels but one night Nelson's wife called and Rosemary realized she was now the woman being quiet in the room-like when she would call Joe. Well the short of it is, Nelson did leave his wife but he married his secretary. Rosemary was devastated.
somehow Rosemary was able to keep her expensive house on Roxbury Drive in Beverly Hills singing commercials, doing tours and arrangements all over. MOinney was sure a lot tighter.Driving down the road one afternoon, who pulls up next to her-Dante. He comes over for dinner, her kids now much older love him and eventually, Dante moves in. Finally, they marry. Rosemary Clooney's life, so far was very interesting to read about. She was poor, a big band singer, soloist, movie and TV star, rich, married, divorced, not so rich, remarried same guy, divorced, depressed, drug addict, hospitalized, career dumps, career rises, Dante back in her life, happy, rich,WOW! Now she lives back on the river near her brother and family, with her brother close by. Unfortunately she lost her sister Betty. Great story and its not over yet.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Friday, November 13, 2009
Just Starting: Girl Singer an autobiography, Rosemary Clooney with Joan Barthel
Dear Ms. O'Brien,
I hope you feel better!!!!!
If you are an old movie buff, like me, maybe you know who Rosemary Cloony is. She is an extremely talented singer/actress, from when dinosaurs lived, and was in one of my favorite movies "White Christmas," with Bing Crasby. I've just started reading her autobiography, "Girl Singer-an autobiography." She has such an amazing voice, for any kind of music (Jazz, bluesy, or Broadway), she could sing it.
Rosemary Clooney grew up poor-really poor in Maysville, Kentucky on the Ohio River; yet, she never felt poor. Both her parents had serious issues, shall we say. Growing up Rosemary's mom, Frances, hated their small town and wanted to be something more, like and actress, dancer- something, but instead got married to a really nice guy named Andrew Clooney. He was very charming and handsome but also an alcoholic. Frances and Andrew had 3 children together- Rosemary, Betty, and Nicky (her brother); yet, her parents came together and separated so many times that Rosemary can't recall a time when they were all living happily together. Eventually her mom became a traveling sales representative and left her children with whoever had room and money. Frances would send her children $5 a week(a lot at the time). The following part made me feel so bad for, as a small child Rosemary figured out what the people she was staying with wanted and expected. She learned what to say and do so that her and her siblings weren't separated. In the early 1930's (the Depression years) I guess it was a lot to expect other struggling relatives to take care or your kids.
Rosemary spent a lot of her time living with her grandparents and thought more of them as parents (especially her father's parents). Time was spent with other aunts and uncles as well. All parts of Rosemary's family were important to her. Even though her dad's parent's had money and her mom's didn't, she loved and appreciated them all just the same. Ms. Clooney remembers fun times singing with her family, her dad had a beautiful voice, and preformed her first song at 3 yrs old in the local movie theater.
I haven't gotten into this book to much yet, but I feel Rosemary had a huge strength within herself from a very young age. At 6 and 7yrs old, she was trying so hard to hold her family together. Her mom, when she was around, was always saying what a bad man her father was, and her father's mother (the grandma she lived with) was always saying what a rotten mother she had. Many of Rosemary Clooney's relatives, on both sides, had alcohol, drug, and depression problems. This was such a hard time to live through yet, she was destined to become a big star and I'm looking forward to reading her story.
My grandparents lived through the depression and my parents have told me about the experiences they had growing up during those years. It must have been a very interesting time- but I get the impression some people had their priorities more straight than now. It seems then just having family around and being together was more important than having a lot of stuff.
Until next time,
Devon
I hope you feel better!!!!!
If you are an old movie buff, like me, maybe you know who Rosemary Cloony is. She is an extremely talented singer/actress, from when dinosaurs lived, and was in one of my favorite movies "White Christmas," with Bing Crasby. I've just started reading her autobiography, "Girl Singer-an autobiography." She has such an amazing voice, for any kind of music (Jazz, bluesy, or Broadway), she could sing it.
Rosemary Clooney grew up poor-really poor in Maysville, Kentucky on the Ohio River; yet, she never felt poor. Both her parents had serious issues, shall we say. Growing up Rosemary's mom, Frances, hated their small town and wanted to be something more, like and actress, dancer- something, but instead got married to a really nice guy named Andrew Clooney. He was very charming and handsome but also an alcoholic. Frances and Andrew had 3 children together- Rosemary, Betty, and Nicky (her brother); yet, her parents came together and separated so many times that Rosemary can't recall a time when they were all living happily together. Eventually her mom became a traveling sales representative and left her children with whoever had room and money. Frances would send her children $5 a week(a lot at the time). The following part made me feel so bad for, as a small child Rosemary figured out what the people she was staying with wanted and expected. She learned what to say and do so that her and her siblings weren't separated. In the early 1930's (the Depression years) I guess it was a lot to expect other struggling relatives to take care or your kids.
Rosemary spent a lot of her time living with her grandparents and thought more of them as parents (especially her father's parents). Time was spent with other aunts and uncles as well. All parts of Rosemary's family were important to her. Even though her dad's parent's had money and her mom's didn't, she loved and appreciated them all just the same. Ms. Clooney remembers fun times singing with her family, her dad had a beautiful voice, and preformed her first song at 3 yrs old in the local movie theater.
I haven't gotten into this book to much yet, but I feel Rosemary had a huge strength within herself from a very young age. At 6 and 7yrs old, she was trying so hard to hold her family together. Her mom, when she was around, was always saying what a bad man her father was, and her father's mother (the grandma she lived with) was always saying what a rotten mother she had. Many of Rosemary Clooney's relatives, on both sides, had alcohol, drug, and depression problems. This was such a hard time to live through yet, she was destined to become a big star and I'm looking forward to reading her story.
My grandparents lived through the depression and my parents have told me about the experiences they had growing up during those years. It must have been a very interesting time- but I get the impression some people had their priorities more straight than now. It seems then just having family around and being together was more important than having a lot of stuff.
Until next time,
Devon
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Finished '9o Minutes in Heaven' by: Don Piper
Concurrently with 'Odd Girl Speaks Out', I was reading '90 Minutes in Heaven' by: Don Piper. This book was an amazing real story about a man that made a very small decision that ended up changing his entire life. Can you imagine that if tonight when you walk out of the school building you decided for a change to turn right instead of left because either way you can get home and that mindless decision so changed you- you were never the same person again. You just can't take any day for granted because you really never know what will happen in the next minute, yet don't we all.
Mr. Piper's decision to turn right put him in the way of an out of control truck, driven by an unlicensed inmate from a local prison. Imagine if for a moment you could zoom up and look down on all the events happening on Earth and see how when everyone starts out from their different starting points, their every action somehow join together into and event. Mr. Piper's small red car was crushed and run over and he was pronounced dead at the scene. His car was covered over and left while the EMS people checked out the others. I really would like to tell you absolutely everything that happened in this book. It made such an impact on me, its going to be hard to write it all into this blog!
Most important though, to me, was Mr. Piper' description of Heaven itself. He said that for him there was no tunnel he just arrived in Heaven and that immediately he felt so completely surrounded by love that he had no cares at all for anything he had here on Earth- not his wife or his children, his ministry, his belongings - nothing- because he knew he was in the presence of God's total love and that he absolutely did not want to leave. He describes relatives and friends that were so over joyed to see him like they had been waiting to be with him again. That all of these people were beautiful and perfect- even his grandmother who had no teeth in life, now had a most perfect and beautiful smile. He said the music was more incredible than anything you can imagine, and the colors were so deep, richer, and brighter. Then came a point after he was so lovingly welcomed when everyone started moving toward the gates of Heaven. Mr. Piper said the gates are huge and that the walls that extend out from either side continue on and on into the distance so far you can see no end. He said they are not made out of pearls but that they are luminescent like pearls.
In the mean time at the accident scene, a friend that had been at the same convention was stuck in the traffic due to the accident and not knowing who was in the crushed car ahead felt drawn to pray for,"the guy in the red car," even though the police told him the guy inside was dead. On Earth Mr. Piper's friend crawled into the crushed car placed his hand on Don's lifeless shoulder and prayed and sang for Don as the people in Heaven progressed toward Heaven's gate. Mr. Piper said he knew if he went with them there would be no coming back and that he'd be in the presence of God and that's what he wanted. But, then suddenly he was whisked away back to his mangled body and the first thing he remembers is hearing himself singing,"What a friend we have in Jesus," along with his friend. Although Mr. Piper was alive he felt that all he wanted was to be back surrounded by the total love and beauty of Heaven and did not understand why he had to leave only to came back and face months of horrendous pain and suffering. Don Piper never told anyone his experience in Heaven until depressed he was talking to a close friend and told him everything. The friend asked him one simple question. He said, 'why do you think God sent you back if not to tell what happened to you?' The rest is in the book and for me it meant so much. I lost my cat Scrapper recently and although I knew he had gone to Heaven now I am so comforted that I 'know' exactly where he is and everyone else too. This book is a must read for people of faith, for those who are curious, for those who do not believe, but most especially for anyone who is either near the end of life or has lost someone very dear. It has made a great impact on me.
Quick Overview of 'A Skating Life-My Story' by: Dorthy Hamill with Deborah Amelon
The other book I read was an autobiography called, 'A Skating Life-My Story' by: Dorthy Hamill with Deborah Amelon.Its about Dorothy Hamill's journey to the Olympic gold. It was very interesting. The dedication, pain-physical and mental, time, and sacrifice it takes to get there is not just something the athlete must do. The entire family must sacrifice as well. Her parents fought a lot. Dad had to work very hard to pay for all the lessons and coaches. Mom had to practically let the other two kids, a brother and sister, both older, fend for themselves as she drove Dorothy all over to ice rinks to practice. Something that I thought was very interesting was that Dorothy Hamill could patiently practice her skating hour after hour, but she had no patients at all for school work. She said she had undiagnosed attention deficit disorder and that school was difficult and terrifying to her. It's interesting how her brain can be so attentive in one area and not in others. (Michael Phelps is the same way.)
She was very sheltered by her mother who demanded Dorothy's best but never told her if she thought Dorothy had done well. Yet, her mother drove her and stayed at practices year after year,rink after rink. Dorothy's mother was not even at the arena when Dorothy won her Olympic gold. She sat in their hotel room alone, with the T.V. off. Dorothy was closer to her father who was very talented musically and put together most of her music. As you read about this family you see that both parents felt frustrated and trapped and both suffered from depression. Dorothy got a very lucrative contract from the Ice Capaides and was so proud to be able to buy her family things that she knew they had to sacrifice for her endless lessons. She had started sending her parents weekly allowances that sadly turned into such a drain on Dorothy's income that she had to stop them. But, her parents got really angry because even though they had enough money they felt Dorothy 'owed' them for all the years of sacrifice they had given her. That was pretty ugly.
Dorothy didn't do so well in the husband department. She married Dean Martin's son Dean Paul, he was Dorothy's true love, but he broke her heart and left her. Then she married a sports doctor named Ken, who not only cheated on her, and everybody but her knew it, but took her for all her money. The only good thing out of that marriage was her daughter Alex.
I have to say though, the difference between these two books was immense. I feel almost bad to say that having read Dorothy Hamill's book after '90 Minutes in Heaven,' made her story seem quite trivial which is not fair. I did enjoy it. Skating fans will love it, but I don't think it needs to go on many must read lists.
Until next time,
Devon
Mr. Piper's decision to turn right put him in the way of an out of control truck, driven by an unlicensed inmate from a local prison. Imagine if for a moment you could zoom up and look down on all the events happening on Earth and see how when everyone starts out from their different starting points, their every action somehow join together into and event. Mr. Piper's small red car was crushed and run over and he was pronounced dead at the scene. His car was covered over and left while the EMS people checked out the others. I really would like to tell you absolutely everything that happened in this book. It made such an impact on me, its going to be hard to write it all into this blog!
Most important though, to me, was Mr. Piper' description of Heaven itself. He said that for him there was no tunnel he just arrived in Heaven and that immediately he felt so completely surrounded by love that he had no cares at all for anything he had here on Earth- not his wife or his children, his ministry, his belongings - nothing- because he knew he was in the presence of God's total love and that he absolutely did not want to leave. He describes relatives and friends that were so over joyed to see him like they had been waiting to be with him again. That all of these people were beautiful and perfect- even his grandmother who had no teeth in life, now had a most perfect and beautiful smile. He said the music was more incredible than anything you can imagine, and the colors were so deep, richer, and brighter. Then came a point after he was so lovingly welcomed when everyone started moving toward the gates of Heaven. Mr. Piper said the gates are huge and that the walls that extend out from either side continue on and on into the distance so far you can see no end. He said they are not made out of pearls but that they are luminescent like pearls.
In the mean time at the accident scene, a friend that had been at the same convention was stuck in the traffic due to the accident and not knowing who was in the crushed car ahead felt drawn to pray for,"the guy in the red car," even though the police told him the guy inside was dead. On Earth Mr. Piper's friend crawled into the crushed car placed his hand on Don's lifeless shoulder and prayed and sang for Don as the people in Heaven progressed toward Heaven's gate. Mr. Piper said he knew if he went with them there would be no coming back and that he'd be in the presence of God and that's what he wanted. But, then suddenly he was whisked away back to his mangled body and the first thing he remembers is hearing himself singing,"What a friend we have in Jesus," along with his friend. Although Mr. Piper was alive he felt that all he wanted was to be back surrounded by the total love and beauty of Heaven and did not understand why he had to leave only to came back and face months of horrendous pain and suffering. Don Piper never told anyone his experience in Heaven until depressed he was talking to a close friend and told him everything. The friend asked him one simple question. He said, 'why do you think God sent you back if not to tell what happened to you?' The rest is in the book and for me it meant so much. I lost my cat Scrapper recently and although I knew he had gone to Heaven now I am so comforted that I 'know' exactly where he is and everyone else too. This book is a must read for people of faith, for those who are curious, for those who do not believe, but most especially for anyone who is either near the end of life or has lost someone very dear. It has made a great impact on me.
Quick Overview of 'A Skating Life-My Story' by: Dorthy Hamill with Deborah Amelon
The other book I read was an autobiography called, 'A Skating Life-My Story' by: Dorthy Hamill with Deborah Amelon.Its about Dorothy Hamill's journey to the Olympic gold. It was very interesting. The dedication, pain-physical and mental, time, and sacrifice it takes to get there is not just something the athlete must do. The entire family must sacrifice as well. Her parents fought a lot. Dad had to work very hard to pay for all the lessons and coaches. Mom had to practically let the other two kids, a brother and sister, both older, fend for themselves as she drove Dorothy all over to ice rinks to practice. Something that I thought was very interesting was that Dorothy Hamill could patiently practice her skating hour after hour, but she had no patients at all for school work. She said she had undiagnosed attention deficit disorder and that school was difficult and terrifying to her. It's interesting how her brain can be so attentive in one area and not in others. (Michael Phelps is the same way.)
She was very sheltered by her mother who demanded Dorothy's best but never told her if she thought Dorothy had done well. Yet, her mother drove her and stayed at practices year after year,rink after rink. Dorothy's mother was not even at the arena when Dorothy won her Olympic gold. She sat in their hotel room alone, with the T.V. off. Dorothy was closer to her father who was very talented musically and put together most of her music. As you read about this family you see that both parents felt frustrated and trapped and both suffered from depression. Dorothy got a very lucrative contract from the Ice Capaides and was so proud to be able to buy her family things that she knew they had to sacrifice for her endless lessons. She had started sending her parents weekly allowances that sadly turned into such a drain on Dorothy's income that she had to stop them. But, her parents got really angry because even though they had enough money they felt Dorothy 'owed' them for all the years of sacrifice they had given her. That was pretty ugly.
Dorothy didn't do so well in the husband department. She married Dean Martin's son Dean Paul, he was Dorothy's true love, but he broke her heart and left her. Then she married a sports doctor named Ken, who not only cheated on her, and everybody but her knew it, but took her for all her money. The only good thing out of that marriage was her daughter Alex.
I have to say though, the difference between these two books was immense. I feel almost bad to say that having read Dorothy Hamill's book after '90 Minutes in Heaven,' made her story seem quite trivial which is not fair. I did enjoy it. Skating fans will love it, but I don't think it needs to go on many must read lists.
Until next time,
Devon
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Finished Odd Girl Speaks Out
I have learned that if you haven't gone through the drama of loosing friends and having to start anew, it's hard to comprehend the pain. This book was recommended to me by my father who heard about it over the radio. At the time when he insisted I read "Odd Girl Speaks Out" I 'yessed' him. When the book first came out I was in a stable group of friends, everyone loved each other, and everyone wanted to be with everyone else. I started bringing my other friends to meet the 'group' and for a short time one could say we were a 'big, happy family.' In the 8th grade our table was so full that we had to have two table close together, to fit everyone, and we always got yelled at by the aid because there were too many of us! That unfortunately soon came to an end over 8th grade summer into 9th grade. Now in 10th grade and revisiting this same oh too familiar territory, I picked up this book. To absorb the most from this book you must be open to healing the wounds and trying to "[feel] good about [yourself]"(195). No friendship is perfect but like anything it has to be nurtured and loved to work.
I really enjoyed this book. It helped me through a long, hard, and painful fight with a close friend. As isolated as I felt, I realized I absolutely wasn't alone. The realization that going through this pain could make me a better person was eye-opening. I recommend this book to girls, to help them through the tortures of girl drama, and to guys, to try and understand what happens behind the curtains of a girl's friendships. Also to parents so their daughters don't have to be so isolated and feel like 'a fish out of water.'
I hate to say it but a girl really has to go through the pain to find her own, unique personality. It's okay to "...hide [you] tears behind fake smiles and fake laughs" as long as you can eventually truly smile and be happy (191). Not all of a girl's high school years have to be spent crying and being fake--we're allowed to be ourselves too!
Until next time,
Devon
I really enjoyed this book. It helped me through a long, hard, and painful fight with a close friend. As isolated as I felt, I realized I absolutely wasn't alone. The realization that going through this pain could make me a better person was eye-opening. I recommend this book to girls, to help them through the tortures of girl drama, and to guys, to try and understand what happens behind the curtains of a girl's friendships. Also to parents so their daughters don't have to be so isolated and feel like 'a fish out of water.'
I hate to say it but a girl really has to go through the pain to find her own, unique personality. It's okay to "...hide [you] tears behind fake smiles and fake laughs" as long as you can eventually truly smile and be happy (191). Not all of a girl's high school years have to be spent crying and being fake--we're allowed to be ourselves too!
Until next time,
Devon
Friday, October 16, 2009
Towards the end of Odd Girl Speaks Out
Amazing how you can so clearly see yourself in the pages of a book. It's comforting and a little bit frightening at the same time. It's not new, it's not me, it's how it is-why?
The big point here is that it's true how some people "[look] for someone to dominate" in order to feel safe and confident(122). The kind of girls that need to put others down to feel superior. The common 'Mom comfort line,' something along the lines of, 'that girl is just jealous of you' may be true-and when you are a train wreck it helps to hear that. Here the author makes such an interesting point. Aggression in school often comes as a result of problems at home- the "[letting] go of a lot of negative energy", but also fear(140). Fear expressed as anger. How is this helpful? Honestly, no matter if the bullying erupts from jealousy or "fear that no one will be their friend," the pain is still very real to their victim(141). There is a lot of truth in the saying, ' the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.' Some mothers actually encourage their daughters to behave negatively towards other girls- and fight their daughter's fights. Personally, I know one girl who is the exact replica of her mother. Her mother always fights with her daughter's friends-in person and even over the phone- as if the fights were her own. It's happened to me and she wasn't even right, just very loud. It was absolutely shocking.
So many great points in these chapters to consider. 'Girl' behavior is so extremely complex. Like when does silence equal to anger, or when is silence just, 'I'm tried?' Some things in this book do annoy me, although the advice sounds good sometimes it seems so simplistic. For example, the book recomends not to fight in cyber-space because people need to talk and see each other, as to not be misunderstood. This doesn't always work, girls will lie right to your face and smile about it. In a perfect world girls would listed to their friends concerns and respond honestly but thats not what usually happens. It is a very important point not to send those hot IM's, cool off, re-read, send it tomorrow, or not at all. I have learned that not responding is often the most powerful statement. "IM's and e-mails are like passing notes or writing on the bathroom wall. They are inadequate, impersonal tools of communication. When you have a problem with someone and need to resolve it, nothing will ever replace the experience of two open eyes and a firm, respectful voice"(148). Although this may be the hardest way to confront a problem, it often is the best.
Something I find so wonderful in this book is it's not just the author telling you what she thinks, it's told by other girls themselves in their own words from their own experiences. It's eerie and comforting reading their words. I keep saying it, I'm not alone.
Love, Devon
P.S. Thanks so much Ms. O'Brien for being so understanding and compassionate
The big point here is that it's true how some people "[look] for someone to dominate" in order to feel safe and confident(122). The kind of girls that need to put others down to feel superior. The common 'Mom comfort line,' something along the lines of, 'that girl is just jealous of you' may be true-and when you are a train wreck it helps to hear that. Here the author makes such an interesting point. Aggression in school often comes as a result of problems at home- the "[letting] go of a lot of negative energy", but also fear(140). Fear expressed as anger. How is this helpful? Honestly, no matter if the bullying erupts from jealousy or "fear that no one will be their friend," the pain is still very real to their victim(141). There is a lot of truth in the saying, ' the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.' Some mothers actually encourage their daughters to behave negatively towards other girls- and fight their daughter's fights. Personally, I know one girl who is the exact replica of her mother. Her mother always fights with her daughter's friends-in person and even over the phone- as if the fights were her own. It's happened to me and she wasn't even right, just very loud. It was absolutely shocking.
So many great points in these chapters to consider. 'Girl' behavior is so extremely complex. Like when does silence equal to anger, or when is silence just, 'I'm tried?' Some things in this book do annoy me, although the advice sounds good sometimes it seems so simplistic. For example, the book recomends not to fight in cyber-space because people need to talk and see each other, as to not be misunderstood. This doesn't always work, girls will lie right to your face and smile about it. In a perfect world girls would listed to their friends concerns and respond honestly but thats not what usually happens. It is a very important point not to send those hot IM's, cool off, re-read, send it tomorrow, or not at all. I have learned that not responding is often the most powerful statement. "IM's and e-mails are like passing notes or writing on the bathroom wall. They are inadequate, impersonal tools of communication. When you have a problem with someone and need to resolve it, nothing will ever replace the experience of two open eyes and a firm, respectful voice"(148). Although this may be the hardest way to confront a problem, it often is the best.
Something I find so wonderful in this book is it's not just the author telling you what she thinks, it's told by other girls themselves in their own words from their own experiences. It's eerie and comforting reading their words. I keep saying it, I'm not alone.
Love, Devon
P.S. Thanks so much Ms. O'Brien for being so understanding and compassionate
Thursday, October 8, 2009
How 'Odd Girl Speaks Out' Makes Me Feel
This entry isn't really about the book but how what I'm reading makes me feel. Girls start to pick you apart, leaving you for dead and they like it. You really have to find it within yourself to get over them. For me it took months until I realized I didn't need them to survive high school- that they couldn't control my life anymore. You have to realize that you don't have the problem-they do. You can't rely on someone to get you out/solve your problem. It has to come from within yourself. "When you go through something so tough you tend to realize things. I realized when my friends wouldn't help me through, what fake friendships I actually had. I realized the importance of family and how no matter what, they will always love you and [will] be there for you. One thing I didn't realize or deal with yet was letting go of these friendships I'd had for so long, even if they were fake"(92). You don't have to deal with them and their problems. I didn't and now I have the kind of friends that would do anything for me, and I for them.
Often in this book, I've made comments about how I went through the same thing or felt the same way. Yet, I say this all the time in exactly the same words. In my case, "I'm not friends with [many] girls. Most of my friends are guys. They don't stab you in the back. With guys there's no drama. It's less complicated". This is right-on-point for me. Most of my friends are guys except for one close girl friend. Like the quote says, "With guys there's no drama. It's less complicated"(103)! Although everyone has there problems, with my guys I always know where they stand and I love to death how they are protective over me, even if they won't admit it they love me and I love them back!!!
Until next time,
Devon
Often in this book, I've made comments about how I went through the same thing or felt the same way. Yet, I say this all the time in exactly the same words. In my case, "I'm not friends with [many] girls. Most of my friends are guys. They don't stab you in the back. With guys there's no drama. It's less complicated". This is right-on-point for me. Most of my friends are guys except for one close girl friend. Like the quote says, "With guys there's no drama. It's less complicated"(103)! Although everyone has there problems, with my guys I always know where they stand and I love to death how they are protective over me, even if they won't admit it they love me and I love them back!!!
Until next time,
Devon
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Odd Girl Speaks Out (About Mid-way through)
It seems no matter what age group, girls have the innate ability to make each other feel insecure and wrong. Like when you ask a friend if they're mad and they say they're not - they could be lying. Your not crazy to think that " you must have done something [wrong] to make her abandon you..."(49). Believe me, I've been there and felt that pain, that anger. Girls seem to have another language of body language and the silent treatment that is hard for adults/other friends to understand. (Whether the adults don't to remember their past pain over friends or recognize your pain is one thing but, it is there). This language can be so deadly, so painful and leads you to ask yourself, "[am I] willing to accept the way she's treating [me]?" (51). A friendship should be a two way street but as everyone knows it sometimes isn't. "... The friendship is... happening on her terms... she's nice to you when she wants to be. She controls the rules of the relationship" (51). No one should be allowed to act one way when your one on one and another when she's with her new friends. From recent events in my life, I can honestly say people who make you feel like your "back-up friend" are not worth the time or agony. I haven't been so excited to read a book in a while. I'm getting so much out of it.
Boys- you can read this book too- its not just for girls. Who knows, it may help you understand our "species" (girls) just a little bit better.
Until next time,
Devon
Boys- you can read this book too- its not just for girls. Who knows, it may help you understand our "species" (girls) just a little bit better.
Until next time,
Devon
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