Towards the end of Odd Girl Speaks Out

Amazing how you can so clearly see yourself in the pages of a book. It's comforting and a little bit frightening at the same time. It's not new, it's not me, it's how it is-why?

The big point here is that it's true how some people "[look] for someone to dominate" in order to feel safe and confident(122). The kind of girls that need to put others down to feel superior. The common 'Mom comfort line,' something along the lines of, 'that girl is just jealous of you' may be true-and when you are a train wreck it helps to hear that. Here the author makes such an interesting point. Aggression in school often comes as a result of problems at home- the "[letting] go of a lot of negative energy", but also fear(140). Fear expressed as anger. How is this helpful? Honestly, no matter if the bullying erupts from jealousy or "fear that no one will be their friend," the pain is still very real to their victim(141). There is a lot of truth in the saying, ' the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.' Some mothers actually encourage their daughters to behave negatively towards other girls- and fight their daughter's fights. Personally, I know one girl who is the exact replica of her mother. Her mother always fights with her daughter's friends-in person and even over the phone- as if the fights were her own. It's happened to me and she wasn't even right, just very loud. It was absolutely shocking.

So many great points in these chapters to consider. 'Girl' behavior is so extremely complex. Like when does silence equal to anger, or when is silence just, 'I'm tried?' Some things in this book do annoy me, although the advice sounds good sometimes it seems so simplistic. For example, the book recomends not to fight in cyber-space because people need to talk and see each other, as to not be misunderstood. This doesn't always work, girls will lie right to your face and smile about it. In a perfect world girls would listed to their friends concerns and respond honestly but thats not what usually happens. It is a very important point not to send those hot IM's, cool off, re-read, send it tomorrow, or not at all. I have learned that not responding is often the most powerful statement. "IM's and e-mails are like passing notes or writing on the bathroom wall. They are inadequate, impersonal tools of communication. When you have a problem with someone and need to resolve it, nothing will ever replace the experience of two open eyes and a firm, respectful voice"(148). Although this may be the hardest way to confront a problem, it often is the best.

Something I find so wonderful in this book is it's not just the author telling you what she thinks, it's told by other girls themselves in their own words from their own experiences. It's eerie and comforting reading their words. I keep saying it, I'm not alone.

Love, Devon

P.S. Thanks so much Ms. O'Brien for being so understanding and compassionate